How did we do it? "It must have been really hard for the family and yourself"  that the comment frequently heard from relative and friends when they learn about what happened to us the last 2 years. Actually, it's now become like a natural part of us to take care of him, which we can't do without. Sounds strange. Of course, to get to where we are, hasn't been easy at all. It started out like I'd been left in the middle of the sea without a life vest and the only way out was to swim back to shore. Then it was followed by anger and denial. Slowly, it became acceptance and healing.

Perhaps, a year ago, I was trying very hard to "heal" Adel completely, wondering did I do this right, or not, and craning my neck waiting for the day Adel gets off oxygen & CPAP. I became so stubborn, that if I stumble, I'll get extremely frustrated. I demanded answers for my questions, hoping to get to the root of the problem. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I've stopped trying.. just that the mission has become somewhat passive. Yes, I want Adel to be healed completely, but if he doesn't I'm not going to get frustrated. I'll keep trying..and I know that he will get better..Is it what you call FAITH? I'm starting to understand what is like having faith. I've stopped being so hard on myself. I'm beginning to appreciate that with Adel, he has given me so much love, knowledge and friends that I've gotten to know, whom I never would have if not for Adel.

I'll always remember what a mom to a child with disability whom I met in the hospital shared with me : She said to me, "These special children are God special children and He has guaranteed them a place in heaven. Our special children refused to be separated from their parents, so as parents to these special children, we get a first class ticket to heaven to be together with them."

Whenever I feel the chips are down, I'll be reminded of what she has told me and I'll feel much better. It's through Adel that I've finally found the "way". The way of all religion, universe and all divide. I can't explained it, it's a personal way of knowing that you'll leave a legacy (not in the material sense) and that you'll be remembered long after you're gone.